Yup… I didn’t really realize it until I was driving home from work that today was the eleven month anniversary of Kateri’s passing. I felt a little off today, but didn’t think much about it. Plus, coming off of Kateri’s birthday and the ringer that that put me through, I was actually just looking forward to a little bit of a mellower time for the following few days… hopefully weeks… and so far it is. At this point, having gone through birthdays and holidays and anniversaries of cancer stuff… the month anniversaries are just a way to track time. Compared to Kateri’s birthday… or the date of the diagnosis of Melanoma in the brain… or the anniversary of her death coming up in a month… all the other months have just been a countdown to that 1 Full Year moment. So, for me right now… it kinda sucks to think that Kateri has been gone for eleven months, but I’m emotionally hung over… wanna take a breather… and just prepare (if you can) for 1 year. (wow… that just fucked up to think about)
So, out of laziness… this is what I did today:
- Worked… well, I was at work. Ya, chopped some romaine n shit… but there’s a snow storm happenin’ so we were a little slow.
- It was after the turn at the lake that I realized it was “Eleven Months”. (It could’ve been before that, but “the turn at the lake” sounded better than “on the interstate”… and a little more rurally romanticized sounding!)
- There were boulders of wet heavy snow at the end of my driveway that I got to plow through… and then get stuck halfway up the driveway! It was a nice challenge to overcome… and another reason to SNOW BLOW!
- The snow was nasty. I had about 8 inches of just water logged white stuff than was slick as shit!
- Getting stuck in your own driveway isn’t like really getting stuck. I mean… c’mon. Of course, it helps if you have sand in the garage…. and a shovel.
- I added shavings to the ladies house. I absolutely love the smell of wood shavings… much more than the smell of the build up of what comes out of the chickens’ butts.
- I had to run to town for more gas since I used it all up snow blowing… and it’s supposed to start snowing again… around now. I like to be prepared… and it gave me an excuse to grab a pizza!
- Some friends stopped by on their snowmobiles… I love that I live in a place where friends can just show up on their snowmobiles.
- I realized I am four days off on my “Widower Day” counting… I don’t know where I lost those four days… but I’m to tired to go looking for them!
- Things are good… well, decent… I guess not too shabby. It’s not been horrible… and sometimes… down right fun.
2 thoughts on “Widower Day 334… Eleven Months…I lost 4 days somewhere.”
The anniversaries are tough. I appreciate your candor so much and send you positive thoughts for all the days — whatever they bring. Flowers are coming into bloom here…won’t be too much longer there.
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The firsts are definitely the worst. Glad you had some fun days amidst the rough ones. Sending you strength through the next difficult days,
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