Sunset on May 15, 2018…Widower Day 23.
Thirty Days of Mo(u)rning
Day 23… Woke up at 6:30ish… tried for earlier, it wasn’t happening.
Was able to get out of here quickly.
On the commute in between The S. Farm and Andy L.’s I had to come to a crawl for 2 grown geese helping their 2 geeselings cross the road. You could see the mom/dad pushing them along.
a. It was such a cool little spectacle that it made my brain start thinking in big broad thoughts about big life experience stuff and what we go through.
b. I passed a car and it was just another reminder that life just keeps on moving. The thought of, “you have no idea of what I’m going through!” popped into my head… just one of those moments. Then I realized that of course they don’t… I have no idea of what they’re going through, why should they know my life?
Work was ok. It feels a little bit more normal. I want to make sure I am being true to myself and making the most of this opportunity… who do I want to be?
a. Jeremy invited me to Ziggy’s to play pool with a group of people. 90% sure it’s work people, but not 100%. I’m sure there will be people.
b. Work made me think about jewelry… which made me think about if/when will I take off my wedding ring?
c. Cracked some eggs, did some schedule stuff, made a tomato basil tart. I don’t really care for it, tastes like pizza to me. We’ll see in the morning. It felt good to see something and then just test it out. That’s how a cook gets better.
On the drive home, I thought about how I am just coasting right now. The next step will be organizational, and then it will be survival. Went to the store and picked up pot pies and some other random stuff… fruit n shit, so there was some “good for ya” stuff.
When I got home and was putting groceries away I saw how much food we/I actually have, and I don’t know if I would ever be able to go through it all.
Decided to go ahead and start painting the bathroom.
a. I thought I could paint and then have time to call Paul, but it took much longer than I had expected.
b. Started it at 4:45 I think and ended around 8:40. It feels good to have it look more and more like a bathroom. I pulled the cardboard from the floor.
c. Mopped the house, even our bedroom. Had to start getting all that dust out of here. I also want the option of working on bathroom whenever I want and not have to take a shower afterwards.
d. The first coat of primer looks good. I’m happy with it. The next coat won’t be to much. Not much paint left either, soooo.
Put on some music afterwards… Khalid
a. It brought me back to after Kateri had passed, but before Maria took off and we were here smoking and putting on music videos and one came up of him and kind of his life. We were so impressed by the young man. We/I dug it.
Took a shower and ate a chicken pot pie and a salad.
a. Watched a little standup comedy. It’s good to watch funny shit.
b. Thought about what I would like to do for my video for Ellen… yup, still on that train. Why not?
Went to bed at 1:20 am.
Thirty Days of Mo(u)rning 