Thirty Days of Mo(u)rning

A widower at forty-two. What Kateri gave me… what cancer took away… and how I'm coping with life from the woods of Vermont
Thirty Days of Mo(u)rning
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  • Widower Day 338… Thirty Days of Mo(u)rning… 28.

    Posted at 6:22 pm by Darren Lidstrom, on March 26, 2019
    Lil' Bitch!
    Lil’ Bitch!
    Grass!
    Grass!
    ummm... Chicken!
    ummm… Chicken!

    Thirty Days of Mo(u)rning

    Day 28… woke up early but stayed in bed until 9:40ish… in and out of sleep. It was a cloudy/drizzly morning which makes it hard to get up… bed is just so comfortable on those mornings.

    Had a pretty lazy morning with David. We hung out, put music on the TV.
    He gave me body work at noonish.

    a. It felt really nice getting some work done from him. He is really good at that shit. I started face down and after a bit my head just filled up with snot and I could breath through my nose or swallow… takes away a bit of the relaxation.
    b. When I flipped to my back, the relief on my head was fantastic… relief from snot, not my mental well-being… that was good too.
    c. It was a little hard just laying there because your mind does start to wander. Although the massage is relaxing and you focus quite a bit on that, the fact that your head can think about anything meant that it was gonna go to some sad places as I laid there.
    d. When I was getting off the couch and taking my clothes off to get on the table my right elbow got tweaked and still hurts… it’s called getting older.
    e. He did a combination of massage and Reiki… I don’t really know when he was doing the Reiki… I’m guess at those moments when he stopped rubbing me.
    f. Afterwards, we had a smoke, cooked some bacon, and made some egg tacos.
    David left around 3:30.

    I went to the store quickly to grab a few things: soda, Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups, milk, seltzer, fruit, etc.

    Sean, Angela, and I were gonna go for a hike, but it was rainy all morning. We decided they were gonna come over here and make tacos around 6:00.

    When I got home I thought I could bang out painting the bathroom before they got here… I was wrong. I did get quite a bit done, so when they did arrive I just covered brushes and paint and shit and left it for after they leave. (Independent… I can do it later… at night)

    a. I have been finding that although I want to get projects done and shit, if I have the option of working on something by myself or hanging/talking with a friend… I’m gonna go with the contact with friends… that’s what I REALLY need right now.
    b. They came up and saw the bathroom… could smell the fumes.
    c. I rolled a joint and we went out to the front deck to smoke, catch up a bit, and to enjoy the evening… then the cool wind came up and we went inside to start cooking… well, Sean started getting everything ready. He has done this for us twice and I have to say… he has it down (bringing shit to someone else’s house).
    d. Chorizo/chicken tacos with guac, he brought pickled cabbage, cilantro, tomatillo salsa, corn tortillas… it was fantastic.

    a. I felt good about my eating the last two days. Going out and then having people bring you food is very helpful.

    e. It was a very nice evening… I like hanging with them, it seems kinda easy and laid back which is what we/I like. It was nice to get to know them a bit more.

    a. Angela mainly worked for/with family in Wisco until coming here, Sean grew up in Miami (gross), they worked at The B@#$%^& (which I don’t really know what that place is about), they wanted a BnB also, they want to buy a house (but don’t know where yet), Sean went to culinary school, they may need to move since housemates are having a baby… but is supposed to move out in December when their house is built (not Sean and Angela’s), Angela was sort of a wild child… said she would love to go back to high school!… said she could do whatever she wanted to!… Sean and I are not those people who would go back to HS if given the chance.
    b. As Angela and I were talking, Sean went to the kitchen and made caramel popcorn… love having cook friends!

    f. They took off and I finished the painting the bathroom.

    It was nice having both David and Angela/Sean visit. I’m still not very emotional when I’m alone, but when I get around people I love, it lets me release a little.

    Busy day, but a good one with good people. I fell asleep in the chair until 4:28am, had a smoke, washed up, and crawled into bed. I set the alarm for 7:30am because I am still trying to get back to a normal schedule.

    Widower Notes n Thoughts:

    Tuesday March 26, 2019

    Tuesday March 26, 2019

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    • ← Widower Day 337… Thirty Days of Mo(u)rning… 29.
    • Widower Day 339… 27. Two… then seven. →
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    Author: Darren Lidstrom

    Posted in cancer, grief, inspirational, loss, Uncategorized, videos, widower | 0 Comments | Tagged cancer, friendship, grief, grieving, loss, mourning, threfirstthirtydays, widower, widower thoughts, widows |

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