Thirty Days of Mo(u)rning

Another storm came through. Soooooo… that means some shoveling. When I was done and saw that the piles lining the driveway were getting to be somewhat significant… it reminded me of the sledding run.  More specifically… that one run… where her laughter is caught in time.  If you need your innards warmed… or know of someone who does… this is the sound of simple joy, child-like innocence, and pure happiness in the woods of Vermont… in the sorta dark.

Widower Notes n Thoughts:

• Before, I kinda thought I knew what I was supposed to be and do on this earth.  As a widower, you have to kinda figure that stuff out again… you sit there and search for purpose.
• I still don’t sleep much.  It’s not that I have a hard time sleeping… I just have a hard time putting myself to bed.  I think I just don’t wanna miss anything.
• I’ve noticed that long beards shed… and makes it look like there is pubic hair all over your bathroom.
• It’s hard living a life where you know what your wife’s last breath sounds like… you think about it… and hear it.
• It’s been in the negatives here so I turned on the heat lamp for my chickens.  I know they’re supposed to be tough and all, but I want them to be comfortable.  And if I have the ability to make them more comfortable… I should do that.
• I have found that blaring Lady Gaga in your ears is a great motivator while shoveling the driveway.
• Sometimes, I get sad and find that I don’t wanna do anything… at all… but then I realize there are things I need to do… so I do them.  Then, I remember there are things that I want to do and I find myself looking forward to doing them… and I feel better.
• All in all, life ain’t too shabby… besides the whole losing Kateri thing… but I’m still plugging along.