Loss of Loved Ones provides us with all sorts of opportunities to feel crappy about This, That, and The Other Thing…but it also sometimes provides us with the space to fill it with some positive stuff… like Sister Visits…!
Four years after Kateri died… my Mom died. Yup, super crappy… but since my Mom died, my Sister and Brother-in-Law have come out to visit Amanda and I each year (without their children), which we have named The “Insert Year here” Annual Sister Visit…! When we were first making plans for them to visit and seeing what they were interested in doing while out here in Vermont, one of the activities was stacking wood!… and let me tell you I never thought “Arts & Crafts” would be such a significant part… and take up soooo much time!… when stacking Next Winter’s Wood!
This is the 5th Annual Sister Visit. Each year, we’ve seemed to “Out Do” ourselves with the way in which we stack little pieces of wood on top of one another. It started somewhat simple… “Let’s put a frame in The Wood Pile!… and I could put some flowers in it!”… and has now somehow gotten to the point where there is a frickin’ school bus in front of our Little Red Schoolhouse!… with lights and everything…! “How did we get here?”, you might ask…? BEATS ME!… but here we are… a school bus… with flowers, twinkly lights, windows you can peak out of, and a Stop sign sandwiched by the words “Don’t” and “Believing”…! (Get it?! If you’re a bit younger, you might not… only because your Journey through Life has been shorter.) Yup…….. a School Bus.
I’ve noticed some people think that maybe a lot of planning went into this year’s Wood Pile. Well, I kinda hate to say it, but “Nope!”… we basically wung it! Because I loved last year’s Wood Pile so much, it was hard for me to think of something new. It wasn’t until maybe two weeks before the Annual Sister Visit, as I was standing out front staring at piles of wood and old rusty rings that I thought “We live in a Schoolhouse… what about a School Bus!”. Then the clock started to tick… and the anxiety of figurin’ out how to make a pile of wood look like a school bus began.
In my Widowhood, I’ve consistently had a challenge with Time… like there’s not enough Time… for anything… it just keeps moving forward and I just keep falling further behind. Most of the time, I feel I’ve learned to manage the stress and anxiety that this provides, during this visit though, I realized I haven’t gotten it fully under control (Like a lot of us, I’ve been a little stressed out about Life). Basically, there was a moment this week when I had… a moment. Now, I don’t mind having “moments”, but I DO mind it when I have a “moment”… when I straight up react to a situation… and it hurts the feelings of someone I care for. Unfortunately, I hurt my Sister’s feelings. Luckily, she’s a compassionate and understanding person who loves me enough to forgive my missteps.
Except for the whole me being a jerk at one point and making things awkward, this was a nice 5th Annual Sister Visit. The Sister and Brother-in-Law got to partake in a Sourdough Stump Sunday. We built a platform up at the fire pit for us to camp on… along with a shed to store wood and our cast iron in. We roasted hot dogs over the fire and made S’mores with Reese’s Thins. We played Uno and ate lots of Chewey Chips Ahoy. We stayed up late and laughed. One night… we cried. We drank coffee on the front porch as we watched and waved to passer byers, some who would slow down in front of the wood pile for a gander. With every arm that poked out of a driver’s side window for a pic, a smile would form on each of our faces… which is the real reward and payoff for stacking wood in funny shapes! For me, the most important thing we did during this year’s visit was spend Time… together.
Widower Notes n Thoughts:
- Love the ones you love in ways that let them know you love them… without needing to tell them you love them.
- Next Year’s Wood Pile Design… there’s something to be said for a straight line!
Thirty Days of Mo(u)rning 