For some reason I decided to search The Oracle for widowed celebrities… and I’m not exactly sure why besides simple ol’ curiostity. I mean, I’m not exactly up on celebrities and I kinda don’t care for reading or watching stuff about widowhood, but I searched it anyways. If you became famous in the last decade… 15 years or so… I probably can’t pick you out of a line up!.. or really care to! But, if you’re a widow(er)… I feel for you. It don’t matter how many people know ya or how much money you got from that horrible 90’s sitcom… or one hit wonder!… if the person you loved more than any of that type of shit… the person you loved more than anything else… up and died… life sucked.
So… that first part was really just notes I made the day before the 2 and a half year mark. The video below I made the day after the 2 and a half year mark. And now I’m posting this blog three days later. Yup… I’m slackin’! But what it comes down to is, I had a moment where I decided to simply look at the last two and a half years of my life… and tried to not let the emotional attachment to last 20 years with Kateri be the focus of my thoughts. And I’ve gotta say… it felt good to look back at my accomplishments over those two and a half years and be comfortable with how I have handled them! Sure, I’ve taken some wrong steps, but just took a step back when I realized it. Sure, I’ve said some things that I probably shouldn’t have said in certain moments or environments or to certain people, but I’m learning to think before I speak… a majority of the time… sometimes… here and there……… I’m working on it! Sure, I’ve made some mistakes, but as of right now… I’m ok with all of that.
We all make mistakes. Luckily, for two and a half years I have been surrounded by people who are understanding, caring, and supportive… and realize we are all just fallible animals trying to get through the day. It’s because of those people and the lessons Kateri taught me in life that I was able to have a positive moment on this new timeline where I could feel accomplished, comfortable, and proud of how I have dealt with my “Widowhood”… even if that “moment” came to me while in the shower! (I’m pretty sure we all do a lot of thinkin’ in the shower!.. when we’re not singing.)
ps… if you take a gander at the video… I know I say, “ya know?” a lot. This is why I prefer to write things down… I ain’t no orator!
Thirty Days of Mo(u)rning 
4 thoughts on “Widower Day… Two and a Half Years… a couple days later.”
Maggie
I always imagined that grief has tentacles that wrap around us. They can be smothering yet oddly comforting. It is only when we loosen their grip a little, we can see ourselves in another way. I always appreciate following your journey. I am thankful you can see your accomplishments. We can live our life and still miss those we love. It’s not either/or. Always glad to see your blog pop up, Darren.
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Elizabeth
I love that you not only are still here, but that so much has changed over that time. I have admired each new step you have shared, including losing the chickens, clearing the coop, staying employed, getting together with friends, dating. I enjoy your “rambling” and it feels a lot as if we are sitting on the porch and you are talking. Did you get to see your mom?
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lssattitudeofgratitude
I always enjoy your posts. grief has a way of making us think we should not move forward. But of course we do. We need to. Remembering the good times occurs more and more as time goes on. For me at least. Love your video. You are so real in your blog and on the video. Great job moving forward and seeing all you have done.
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jennasnanny04
Hi Darren, so good to see and hear you. You are so insightful and I have learned lessons from watching you work thru your grief and experience growth milestones. Thank you for teaching us as you’re learning.
Hope you got to see your Mom and that she’s doing well.
Nice job on the shower….great tile! Lol.
Nancy
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