Widower Notes n Thoughts:
- One hard thing I’m realizing is the fact that when you are in a relationship that spans a considerable amount of time… 20ish years for me… it is natural to go through those intense, passionate times along with those times where you are just good with life and kinda plugging along. I loved our life together. I loved the exciting and adventurous times. But I really loved the plain ol’ day to day. It was comfortable… it felt good. Kateri and I spent pretty much all of our time together and some of those times we would just be doing our own individual thing.
And… we got older. Out priorities… changed. We slowed down a bit as we were settling into the rest of our lives. Even though I believe Kateri was happy with her life and with me… I know… KNOW… that Kateri wanted more excitement in her life… more adventures… more passion!… and I was happy with how things were. As a widower you can take that type of reflection and put the information to use by living every day like it’s the last!… or some other homogenized cliché saying… and I do most the time. But tonight… reflecting on life also showed me that I do… in fact… have regrets.
Thirty Days of Mo(u)rning 
8 thoughts on “537… Simply, a Widower Thought.”
Jessica Brown
oh Darren, don’t have regrets, you had life, you had love, and spontaneous adventures to the ocean,we are all in this adventure together and you can never predict the future and the uncertainty that lie ahead, but you guys had love and compassion and memories, cherish that and never feel regret you were living life in the way you thought was going to go on forever. you lived it to the most til then. Fuck Cancer but hold on to the memories. Hug that and cherish that
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lssattitudeofgratitude
We all have regrets. But you sir have the wonderful times also. You have times of connection and joy and compassion and love and kindness and caring for a special person. So many live a much longer life and never get those gifts. Remember the day to day moments of bliss. You will be happier remembering your reality.
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Darren Lidstrom
That there is some good advice!
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jennasnanny04
I don’t think anyone has a life where there are no regrets. If we could see our future,day by day, maybe we would live differently, but that’s not real. You had more than many people get to experience. What you are feeling is a very normal part of ” the process” of healing. Thank you, as always, for sharing.
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Darren Lidstrom
Nail on the head right there! Thank you!
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Maggie
I think regrets are an after effect of the trauma associated with cancer. It is easy to reflect back and say “we didn’t see Paris” because you feel robbed of the life you hoped and planned for. Remember the hard days when you saw everything in each other’s eyes. You had a rare love, Darren. Kateri had her flowers, her schoolhouse and a man who loved her through the hardest time of her life. Your regret may just be that you wanted more time to love Kateri. I would wager she had no regrets. I am sure she wanted more time, too.
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Darren Lidstrom
Thank you Maggie… you always say just the right thing!
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Maggie
You are inspiring, Darren. You are walking a difficult path. Hoping for bright days ahead.
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