When Kateri died, I made the conscious decision not to go to the Doctor. If there was something going horribly wrong with my body… I just didn’t wanna know! I guess it also had something to do with the fact that the one thing… person… I loved more than anything was just plucked out of my world, and I didn’t really care if The Universe had the same fate for me. I didn’t want to know if I had high blood pressure, low platelet levels, tonsillitis, or even cancer. I felt as if my future was ripped away from me and I didn’t have the ability to look towards the upcoming days, months, and years with any sort of clarity, plan, or excitement. And I’ll be honest… it’s still a challenge!, but after 6 Years of Widowhood… I’m starting to take care of some things I have been pushing off simply because I didn’t wanna deal with them. I figured, being able to actually see the world I was left to live in without Kateri would be a nice “Step” in helping change my mindset from “It is what it is and I’m just gonna roll with it…” to… “I’ve got a lot to live for… I kinda wanna stick around for a bit and see where this or that goes… maybe I should take care of my things AND Myself…!?!”. Soooo, I went to the Eye Doctor… pressed my forehead against multiple strange contraptions… saw a little red barn… and apparently needed glasses!… which I kinda knew. (On a side note, I also paid out-of-pocket to get this done because the Health Care and Insurance industries in this country suck big ol’ donkey balls.)
Widower Notes n Thoughts… on getting glasses:
- It’s amazing… leaves on trees, grass, and road signs all have sharp edges in real life!
- Apparently one of my eyes wouldn’t have passed for the DMV. Good thing I’ve got two of them!… and now glasses, as well.
- Through my Widowhood and with the added Global Pandemic I’ve lost sight of a few things. Glasses aren’t gonna fix that… that’s on me.
- Getting my eyes checked wasn’t just about being able to see. The act was also an attempt for me to gain some clarity on the steps I want to take as I fumble my way into the future.
- If you are new to corrected vision… and like to smoke weed… you’ll be very entertained for the first couple of days!
- Yes, that is a shoelace attached to my glasses in the pic… just testing things out!
Thirty Days of Mo(u)rning 