There are a few different reasons why I was looking forward to the 4th Annual Sister visit this year, besides the facts that I miss my sister and love her. (Facts?… fact?… I mean, I did list 2 facts…?) In Widowhood, things just kinda go away. Obviously, there is the loss of the spouse, but other things are lost, as well. Not necessarily “lost” I guess… but they aren’t exactly “in” your Life… or as much a part of it… as they once were… and it doesn’t help that I’ve learned I’m not a very social person. I think I was looking forward to the Comfort that Family brings along with itself when brothers and sisters… who don’t live near each other… get to hang out together… because they actually want to! So, I’m not talking about Forced Family Fun or any of the shitty reasons Family get together, I’m talkin’ the relaxin’ times of eating S’mores while sittin’ around a fire hearing about each other’s Lives… the kid(s), the dog(s), houses/homes, futures, last time they were in a movie theater, grocery shopping and meal planning, TV shows, funky plants… other people’s lives, and the such. That is what The Annual Sister Visit is about. It’s about being together, shootin’ the shit, and chillin’… while stacking wood next to the dirt road and performing hard labor up at the Fire Pit…!
I had two goals when I moved Next Winter’s Wood from the lean-to to a strip by the road a few years ago. First, it was to have it more accessible and closer to The Schoolhouse. Second, I wanted it to be visually appealing to myself and to anyone who drove by. That’s probably one of those “Taking pride in my home/work” type things but it has also kinda morphed into this therapeutic and fun experience which I get to share with my sister, brother-in-law, and Amanda once a year…!
The last couple of years, I’ve had an idea for the woodpile well before my sister got here. This year… not so much. I’ve been in a bit of a funk the past few months and with everything going on in My World along with everything going on in The World, I remembered that there are parts of Life that make it really hard to put on a smile. I remembered there are circumstances and moments in Life when we simply aren’t… Happy. As I was trying to figure out a form for this year’s pile of wood, I thought of the story of meeting my neighbor for the first time and remembered there being smiles on Kateri’s sister’s, on Scottie the Hottie’s, and on my face after he stopped by in his purple truck for introductions because “It had been long enough!”, he said… the day after Kateri died. I remembered that even in the darkest hours of losing my wife and the only future I had known… there was a smile. It may have been brief. It may have been forgotten about until now… but it was there.
This year’s woodpile is sorta speakin’ to that. The world can be a big bad place and it can be brutal, but there are moments that catch us by surprise which allow us to experience little bursts of happiness. I don’t have the power to change the world, but I can ask my sister to stack wood in a way that will hopefully be a surprise to someone putzing down the dirt road…!… which might provide them with their own little unexpected burst of happiness…!!… and maybe even a smile.
I love my woodpile. I love who was a part of creating and stacking it. I love what it means to Me… the “Inspiration(s)” and/or “Reason(s)” behind moving next year’s wood from This Pile to the more organized That Pile. I love spying on people driving by from my living room… or, preferably from the front porch… and seeing if they slow down. I love the feeling I get when I see their brake lights come on… it’s even better when I see a hand holding a phone pop out a window! I like to think it put a smile on their face(s)… and allowed them to forget about all the craziness, crappy, piles of poop Life seems to sometimes throw at us. I hope it made their day a little bit better… if even for a moment.
Widower Notes n Thoughts:
- Sometimes, we need to insert a Smile into the day… because it’s not showing up on it’s own.
Thirty Days of Mo(u)rning 