The Christmas Tree has been around for a while. From what I understand, back in the 1500’s those festive people The Germans are credited with starting the tradition of selling dead trees for an exorbitant amount of money to overworked, overtired, over stressed parents just searching for that specific Cabbage Patch Doll and a little Hope!… who would also appreciate it if their children stopped fighting over who gets to help Mom or Dad duct tape the tree to the roof of the Tesla. It was pretty dark times back then, so they actually started setting up and decorating the Trees in September so that the children had something to look forward to for a quarter of the year. I mean, who doesn’t get excited about waking up on Christmas Morning… after waiting four months!… to open up gifts of potatoes, sticks, and lumps of coal?! Which, back in the day, I would suspect that the lumps of coal were a good thing. I mean, I’m pretty sure it was cold back then… a little coal could go a long way!
In case you didn’t notice, I don’t actually know the full history of the Christmas Tree… and I guess it doesn’t really matter to me. What I do know is that I have wonderful memories of decorating trees throughout my younger years with my parents and sister, through my twenties and thirties with my wife Kateri as we built our Life together… by myself for five years after she died… and now with Amanda as we foster new traditions and expand on our Life together. As Amanda and I decorated our tree… for the second year…!… I noticed a few cool little things that are now attached to my memories of decorating Christmas Trees over the years.
The colored lights/white lights preference thing is really what got me thinking about my Life this Holiday Season. I’ve always put colored lights on my tree. Kateri found these cool ones that look just like the ol’ retro bulbs you picture your dad stapling to the garage while balancing on one foot halfway up a fully extended extension ladder… except tiny… and LED!… which we used for years, and I kept up with in my Widowhood. Well… now it’s not just my tree… it’s mine and Amanda’s tree… and Amanda is a White Light type Christmas Tree person! Let me tell you about the tension THAT provided us in the Little Red Schoolhouse for the weeks leading up to Decoration Day!! Actually, there wasn’t any tension because Amanda and I have a healthy relationship built on Open and Honest Communication, Respect, and an understanding that Compromise is an integral part of any decision-making process involving more than one person. There’s that… and the fact that Amanda was able to find some lights that we could change between both colored and white!… not to mention 8 other colors with varying rates of flashing from “Awe… that’s calming” to “Frank just had a seizure!”. Either way… crisis averted!
Just as it goes that everything changes over Time… my (our) Christmas Tree is different this year from last… and the year before that blah blah blah. Yes, it is filled with all sorts of familiar trinkets, decorations, and doodahs but it’s still different… even if visually just a bit. I can see the changes in the missing ornaments and the addition of new ones. When decorating the tree, it was nice taking a moment to spend on each ornament, asking myself what I had attached to it, and deciding if it made the cut or not. Amanda did the same thing with her stock of memories. We did it together, strategically hooking glass snowmen, various Santas, and pictures of Xander on tree limbs until we got to that point where you take a step back to get a good look at your work and realize… it’s done. Amanda attached her Bow. I attached the Angels and fastened the Star. We moved the step stool out of the way because we were done with it… and it’s not great for pictures, turned on the lights (white… this time), and sat on the couch with the dog to take in the beauty of this year’s Christmas Tree… perfect.
Widower Notes n Thougths… on Christmas Trees:
- Colored lights over white lights.
- Real tree… period. I don’t even wanna hear your Plastic Tree Argument & Rational!… which I’m pretty sure is a published paper in some psychology magazine.
- Christmas Tins make great storage containers and double as decorations under the tree!
- Anything can be an ornament… anything. Three of my favorite ornaments are a rubber chicken key chain, a stuffed alligator from a slipper, and Santa in a hot air ballon… which is an actual ornament… because I have those, as well…! (I’m also fond of the Yodeling Pickle… which hides somewhere in the tree… and I’m jealous of a few of Amanda’s.)
- Just like ornaments, anything can top your tree. Amanda and I currently have a Bow, 2 Angels (1 on a toilet paper roll), and a straw Star with seashells at the points… yup.
- I’ve learned that the presents strategically placed beneath the tree aren’t the most important gifts given to us at Christmas. The memories attached to the pieces we pull out once a year are what gives Life to the pine tree we chopped down and stuck in the corner of the living room. Then we wrap those pieces safely back in their blankets of tissue paper and nestle them in worn boxes with edges blunted by years of, “It’ll fit perfectly… right… here!” for another 11 months… and throw away the tree. (I burn it… because I can!) As the years add up, so do the ornaments… the decorations… the memories… the feelings of Love, excitement, and anticipation.
- Because we are creatures that Love other creatures, when you unpack the holiday bins there’s also a hint of Loss and remembrance simply due to our attachment(s) to The Past and the people (pets/other living things) we’ve Loved… and have Lost. It’s all part of the gig.
Merry Christmas n Shit, Everyone…!
Thirty Days of Mo(u)rning 