I was standing in the garage the other night doing the ol’ routine of chopping kindling and looking around wondering how I could rearrange all the crap I’ve accumulated over the years when the thought “I Live Alone in a Life Built for Two” popped into my head. It was one of those moments that just kinda creeped into the brain. As I thought about it, I realized it wasn’t exactly accurate or really even how I feel about my widowhood and life these days, although I vividly remember the times when “alone” was the feeling I had from the time I woke up in the morning to the time I went to sleep… sometimes also in the early morning hours. I’m glad I had that sorta sad thought cross my mind… it reminded me of how life isn’t stagnated… that we have our own unique ebbs and flows… and that I’m not alone. It made me bring back into focus the people who are still in my life, those who have come into my life, and although there are those whom I can no longer hold in my arms… I carry them with me as I flub through my day to day in a reality, which for decades… I could not have imagined.
I don’t know how I found it or what I was looking for when it showed up on the computer screen, but I came across an article and snippet of an interview where Steven Colbert asks, “What do you think happens when we die, Keanu Reeves?”. The selfless simplicity of Keanu’s answer, knowing he’s had significant losses in his life, just kinda hit me when his response was, “I know that the ones that love us, will miss us.”. Thank you, Mr. Reeves, for focusing on life… even when asked about your thoughts on death. (That was totally profound, Ted… super deep. You’ve come a long way from, “All we are is dust in the wind, dude”…!)
Thirty Days of Mo(u)rning 
12 thoughts on “A Widower Thought and Keanu Reeves…”
Maggie
It is good to see you, Darren. I was wondering how you were getting along. I do love that quote. It is important to try and focus on the light.
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Darren Lidstrom
It’s good to see you, Maggie! Ya… I’ve just been, well, doing other things!… and taking a moment to just chill and not worry about too much..!
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Lauren
As I travel through this journey with cancer, I have given tons of thought to the possibility of not winning the battle. I miss my loved ones no longer in this realm. I try and tell my loved ones how much they mean to me all the time.
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Darren Lidstrom
I think that’s a good approach to life. We should be telling the ones we love that we love them whenever we can… and hopefully we hear it back because I think we all just need that sometimes. Sending ya a big ol’ sap bucket of love and positive thoughts from Vermont!
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Lauren
Thank you Darren
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spiritualdragonfly
I’m 6+ years as a widow, and can vividly recall how alone I felt in those early days. I’ve come a long way since then….just closed on my second new space since his passing….earlier today, listening to The Bridge on SiriusXM, our song came on. Bittersweet and yes the tears fell..and now your post. Thank you!!!
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Darren Lidstrom
Thank YOU! Ya, I’m kind of always amazed when I have that feeling of, “Look where I’m at!… how far I’ve come!… getting rooted in this new part of life!”… yet can still feel all the feels from the days of cancer and Kateri’s passing. I’m glad I’m at a point where I simply take those emotions with me, instead of having them push me around through my day to day. Happy Monday and MLK Day!
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spiritualdragonfly
Oh I’m with you!! I’m grateful for how far I’ve come..Happy Monday and MLK Day to you as well!!! 😊
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Lauren
If you cannot hold me in your arms, then hold my memory in high regard. And if I cannot be in your life, then at least let me live in your heart. Ranata Suzuki
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Darren Lidstrom
And I think we should live our lives in a way that would make good memories for the ones that are left living. We want to be remembered and loved, but that is a weight on our shoulders put there by our interactions with other people.
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Lauren
Agreed
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jennasnanny04
Darren,
Thanks for sharing this profoundly sweet comment. I agree and, as always, glad to see how you’re growing. Have missed your updates.
Hugs,
Nancy
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